I haven’t blogged in a long time, but since lockdown I have had a hankering for getting my thoughts out there. Probably because I no longer have many people to talk to. In February I had a whole office of people to unload on as well as friends and family, and now I have all of these thoughts bouncing around my brain, hitting the walls and bouncing back with no place for them to go – except my poor husband who has to listen to all my worries, depressive episodes, ideas, thoughts, feelings, ranting – everything!

I’ve actually been keeping a diary since lockdown started – in fact I have been writing in my diary since I was 11, but I have stepped it up and written much more than usual, so below is how I was feeling back in March.

Thursday 19th March 2020

It is difficult to put into words, to convey how much our lives have changed this week and how bad they are going to get over the coming months. The Coronavirus is up to c2,000 cases and just under 100 deaths in the UK – but wordwide it is 220,000 cases and 30,000 deaths. Since it is spreading so quickly Boris Johnson has made some pretty epic and life-changing decisions in a matter of days.

On Monday night he told us all to work from home if we can. Therefore I went into the office on Tuesday (I work at a University) knowing it was going to be my last day here for a long time. I was able to take my screen and my chair home. I felt very sad.

Wednesday was my first day of working from home all day. My hubby is too, he is using the study and I am down in the kitchen. I cannot tell you how long the day felt. I was able to go for a walk with hub so that was nice, but I had three Skype meetings, video chats are quite good and it almost feels like the person is right there, but boy are they tiring. In the evening we heard the big news – schools and nurseries are closing for the foreseeable future this week!! Absolutely unbelievable! They even hinted that schools may not reopen again before the Summer – WTF!

Saturday 21st March

Our calendar is empty, for the first time since having children we have no plans… no birthday parties, no play dates, no swimming lessons, no Cub Scouts, no Dad’s club, no tennis, no dinner with mum and dad, no visiting friends, no parks, no play centres – NOTHING!

Sunday 22nd March

The worst Mothers’ Day I have ever experienced 😦

I do not know how this is going to work? How will we work from home with two children in the house (Nate is aged 8 and Savannah is 3), not to mention home-schooling them – simply not possible.

Another fear of mine is cabin fever – 4 people under one roof with nowhere to go, I’m not sure about this, and no more cinema, no restaurants, no pubs, no taking the kids to the park, the only thing we can do is go for a socially distanced walk. It is entirely plausible I may lose my mind.